Juggling

I have been thinking a lot lately about 3 kids and how people juggle. I have such a desire to really be there for each of my children and not get too caught up in keeping the house clean (I've got that one down already-NOT keeping my house too clean, it's a skill people) or getting involved in too many activities that are for the kids but ultimately do not really matter in the scheme of things. I want to focus on things that really matter, and right now that is individual time. With an infant, I always have a baby on my hip. He is just always with me. And as much as I love it, I feel for my girls. They know I am not as accessible as I have been in the past.

For Amelia, her time to shine is with dance. While it is not exactly one on one time, we take that time each week to get her to dance and it is all for her. She will do the dances for Juan in the evenings and she really loves it. I love watching her be independent, this is the first time we've ever put her in anything. And I love that it is just hers, I don't feel the pressure to put Maya in dance also, she can have her time later.

Amelia is so great to talk to. She is constantly telling me she is going to get taller taller taller and then she wants to be a mommy. Well I make sure she knows how hard work it is to be a mommy, not to discourage her in any way, but we talk about how hard daddy works and then we also talk about how hard mommy works. So the other day I was telling her when you're a mom, there is always something to do. And then I said, will you run and grab me Oscar's binky? And she says, "Well I just going to rest wecause I not tall yet." (meaning she's not grown up yet). Okay then, live it up while you can Mill.

Oscar and I have plenty of one-on-one time. He knows how to make me feel like I'm the most wonderful person in the world. He loves patty cake. He "throws it in the oven" the whole song. He has been sitting up now and playing with toys and he can play by himself for an hour or more, and he loves when the girls stop in and play with him. I love to sing to him, I love when he lays his head on my shoulder, I love to nurse him. He is getting bored with nursing these days and gets so distracted and just wants to look up at me and smile or whip his head around and try to grab the book in my hand, or sit up and spot what the girls are doing. Sometimes I have to pump and hand him a bottle, which he devours. He loves to hold his own bottle. I love having a boy, he is sweet and amazingly chill. Julaine visited and she told me 100 times, I have the best behaved baby. And it is so true.

And Maya. She is our firecracker right now. This girl, she cannot be talked down from her fits. She will just go on and on and on. Yelling and screaming and wandering the house so she is sure to be heard. And I have tried everything to snap her out of these tantrums, and nothing. So we wait it out. Thankfully it doesn't happen too often, but this girl can go on for up to an hour each time. Aside from that, she is our sensitive one. She sobs and comes to find me during the scary parts of Disney movies. We were having our "talks" one night and I was asking her about her day. She told me a boy pushed her down and nursery and said, "mommy wasn't there to 'tect me". It broke my heart. Because of the Disney movies, I had been telling her that mommy is always here to protect her. And then I wasn't. She is so wise. The way I maximize my time with Maya is our talks at night and sometime in the middle of the day, when the girls are at the height of fighting, I'll sweep her away and we read books together or play a game or sing her favorite songs. She melts my heart.

We have the funnest kiddos.

We leave for Utah in 1 month. And we go to Disneyland in 3 months!!! We are so blessed and have so much to look forward to. I am trying my hardest, and know there are so many great moms who have done it before me.